1. If you turn down dates to stay in by yourself and watch the Mighty Ducks.
2. You pray that your cell phone doesn’t ring once it’s passed 7:00pm.
3. You cross the street when you see someone you know walking towards you.
4. You stay half-naked at home because you know no one will be knocking on your door…and the odd time someone does, you go quiet and pretend you’re not home.
5. Meeting people is an inconvenience in your daily solitary life.
6. The imaginary friends you’ve created in your mind are enough to keep you company.
7. You migrate to other loners because you know they won’t bug you.
8. After sobering up in the morning, you regret all the plans you made last night when you were drunk to hang out with people.
9. When you feel like partying you blare Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock n Roll and dance around your room using a hairbrush as your microphone.
10. You own a duffel bag.