It’s All or Nothing, Baby

Love it…want it.

Hate it…ditch it.

After the first time I saw the movie “A Walk to Remember” 7 years ago, I watched it every day after getting home from school for the next year.  My most played song on iTunes has been played 63 times.  And that doesn’t include the times I listened to it on my ipod or the times I cut it off before the song was completely finished.

My stapler is pink, my scissors are pink, my binder is pink, even my pens are pink…and that’s just my school supplies.  I have five shades of pink nail polish.  My dish soap is pink.  My cutting boards are pink.  My toothbrush is pink.

I have pink hair chalk…no, I’ve never used it…but I still have it.  And if you’re wondering what that is, it’s this chalk (like the kind you played hopscotch with as a kid) that you rub on your hair and it dyes it pink…until you shower.  Of course the package warns that it could stain if you get it on your clothes while you’re applying it to your hair…so it’s best to be naked while applying it.  (Well okay, it doesn’t instruct consumers to get naked, but it does warn of the hazards if you don’t!)

My new obsession is hair jewelry.  I discovered these Swarovski crystal covered pins, combs, and clips that hold your hair up and make it sparkle.  It would be like taking your Swarovski jewelry and putting it in your hair.  I just bought a few last weekend.  Guess what color I bought?

…If you said anything other then pink, then I think you should put the bottle down…you’ve killed too many brain cells already.

When I like something, I know it…And I consume myself with it.  There is no “a little pink here…and little green there”…screw that shit.  It’s just pink.

When I was 5 years old I discovered my first pair of shoes that had a platform…I was addicted.  I have four closets and a shoe wheel filed with high heels to prove it.  At age 12 I decided to ditch flat shoes.  Why wear flat shoes when I like high heels better? (This attitude has become a little less extreme since I became a West Coaster…)

I love green tea.  Check out my cupboard…I could open up my own David’s Tea store in my apartment.  They say it’s good for you to drink 3-4 cups of green tea a day.  I drink about 8-10.

I haven’t had a donut from Tim Hortons since I was a little kid.  Except for one time in second year of undergrad when I shared half a dozen donuts with my friend after a night of drinking.

I stepped on the ice for the first time at the age of three.  It was love at first step.  It turned into a 12 year trip to paradise and hell.  I gave up skiing, school, soccer, the chance to meet new friends, and a social life so I could spend hours on the ice everyday at one of the best training centers in the world.

In the past I have sometimes had the tendency to hibernate (Ok, let’s not kid ourselves, I still have this tendency…) but years ago when I was in my third year of undergrad I made a New Years Resolution to be more social and not stay in as much.  The next weekend in January I partied Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night…screwed up an exam two weeks later…and was back to my hermit, “I’m gonna continue studying in my cave” mentality.  Since then I have learned how to do both…that is party, have fun, go out… and study.  It was a little weird at first, but I’ve gotten much better at balancing the two.  Plus, I’m in a graduate fashion program…it’s no rocket science.  Yes, I have a lot of work to do…but nothing is as grueling as U of T.  U of T prepared me for life.  It taught me that if you can graduate from this school, then you can do anything else…while drunk.  I actually think that a glass of wine helps my creative process.

In university I discovered that chewing gum was a great way to keep myself entertained while in a boring lecture or while completing mind-blowingly boring homework…(I was an English and Psych major.)  Several months later when my jaw started hurting, I realized that I was chewing on average about 10 pieces of gum a day.  I had to cut it out cold-turkey.  No gum.  That concept known as moderation is just not my best friend sometimes.  It’s all or nothing baby.  I haven’t had a piece of gum in a very long time.  I feel like I should be asking for a sober chip…2 years gum-less.   Let’s celebrate… with a bottle of wine!

I loved my dog Soda.  In the 11 years that he graced this Earth with his presence, I took about a thousand pictures of him.  He was very photogenic…and very understanding of my extremist ways.  When I walked over to him with my phone in my hand he rolled his eyes…he knew it was photoshoot time.

At an early age I discovered that I loved fashion and celebrity-gossip magazines…Combine that with my tendency to hoard things I love…and you’re left with a bunch of closets, drawers, shelves, and tables filled with magazines.  And the collection just keeps growing internationally.

I love Gilmore Girls.  I’ve seen every episode probably over 500 times.  And that’s not an exaggeration.  The show ended ages ago when I was back in high school and I still obsess over it.

I’ve talked about a lot of things that I love.  But none that I hate.  I’m an extremist in both directions…it’s all or nothing, hate it or love it.

So what do I hate?

Cold weather.  Hence the migration to the warm West Coast.

Non-alcoholic beverages…unless it’s green tea.  Check my cupboards…you’ll find green tea, bottles of wine, vodka, and whiskey.

Crocs.  My closet would be a great billboard for an “anti-croc” campaign.

Even my drawing skills are extreme….in the negative direction.  Any of you who have seen one of my drawings, know that they make a five year old’s drawing of stick people look like the Mona Lisa.  There is no middle ground in my ability to draw.  Just pray you never end up on the same team as me when playing Pictionary.

And the moral of this story is…why half commit?  If you’re in, be all in.  If you like it…break that barrier and learn to love it already.  What are you waiting for?

No, actually that’s not true.  I strive everyday for moderation.  Sure, I guess it’s fun to be extreme in some cases, but sometimes it’s just simply not.

Abstain…Indulge.  There’s nothing in between, yet.

We’ll dance, we’ll drink, we’ll laugh, we’ll love.

Yours Truly,

J. Molly

Leave a Reply