1. Half of the pictures on your news feed are pictures of your friends traveling in Europe.

2. Your fridge contains more alcohol than food.

3. You find yourself using the phrase “my biological clock” and “the good ‘ol days” more often.

4. This is how you feel in the morning after a night at the bar:

5. You start to fear that your days of young and wild drinking can no longer be construed as fun youthful exuberance, but instead is now a sign that you’re on the edge of becoming an alcoholic.

6. You hate yourself for going after a career that you love instead of choosing a career that would allow you to pay your rent.

7. All your friends (and your ex’s!) are getting engaged.

8. You no longer have the desire to take shots directly from a bottle of vodka.

9. When you look back at pictures of you in college:

and this:

you think w.t.f., did we really do that? I hope my kid won’t be as stupid as I was!

10. You snap pictures of your ass because you know it will never look as good as it does now.

11. You feel slightly ashamed and pervy feeling attracted to the actors playing high school students on T.V.

12. You have “pay the water & electric bill” marked on your calendar.

13. You spend your Friday nights doing this:

Instead of:

14. Size matters:

15. You open your mind to new ways of having fun:

16. It takes you a few moments to figure out what you did wrong:

17. You spend your time writing blog posts like this.

18. And even more time reading blogs like this.

Love,

J. Molly