Outfits Too Sexy to Wear if President Trump is in your Vicinity

Ladies and Gentlemen, the people have chosen our President and now we have to endure the consequences.  I spent this morning listening to President Trump’s infamous video where he brags about being able to do anything, including sexually assaulting women, because he is a star.  And then I thought to myself, this is who the majority of America has elected, so now we must deal.

If you don’t want his lips being drawn to you like a magnet, (like he boasts in the video), here are some basic dress attributes to avoid.

  1. Say goodbye to cleavage.  Way too sexy.

2. Any leg slit in the dress is provocative as well so stay away!


Blue & Cream ($355)

Blue & Cream ($355)

3. V-necks are way too alluring.

4. Dresses with cutouts show too much skin.

Revolve ($188)

Revolve ($188)

5. Anything dominatrix style is out too.  Sends the wrong message.

6. Skirt lengths above the knee are unacceptable.

7. Bodycon dresses that hug your curves are way too sexy.

Bebe ($109.99)

Bebe ($109.99)

8. Off-the shoulder dress, although super trendy this season, just say no.



Taking all of these dress limitations into consideration, here is what your wardrobe should look like now:


This one is fine too:

Nordstrom Rack

Nordstrom Rack

Alright Trump, let’s do this, women are prepared!


(Just in case you didn’t catch the subtle sarcasm in this post, this post was meant to inspire a chuckle.  DON’T CHANGE WHAT YOU WEAR FOR ANYBODY!)




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