Liebster Award

liebster

First of all I want to start off by saying thank you so much to Sarah’s Preppy Closet for the Liebster Award nomination! I’m so excited to be nominated for this award!

The Liebster Award is an award that bloggers get by nominating other bloggers who you admire and they continue passing it on to other bloggers that they admire.  The award recognizes bloggers who have around 200 followers or fewer. Especially being a new blogger this is really nice getting to see other accounts! If you’re nominated for a Liebster Award, you answer the questions from whoever it was who nominated you. Then, you nominate a handful of other bloggers, and ask them a set of questions.


Questions:

1. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging because I’ve always loved writing, but when I wrote in my journals no one else could read my work.  I wanted to share my ideas, creativity, and personality with others.

2. What is your dream job?

It’s hard for me to just pick one specific job, but I know it would involve fashion and business.  I think owning my own chain of unique clothing and accessory stores would be exciting! It would also be a dream of mine to be a buyer for a high-end luxury department store.  Also, as I move forward in the field of fashion, I think that a career in fashion and technology would be an exciting path to take.

3. What are you most terrified of?

Not succeeding.

4. What’s your go-to outfit on days where you’re running errands?

Boyfriend jeans and a V-neck t-shirt, with platform flip-flops and my silver watch.

5. Health nut or not?

I’d say I’m very health conscious, but I wouldn’t say I’m a complete organic nut.  But I do think that eating healthy is very important.

6. Are you a perfectionist or a neat freak, or neither?

I’m a perfectionist!

7. What’s your favorite store and do you shop there often?

I love Nordstrom! And yes, I shop there fairly often… I mainly focus on their shoe department and their jewelry department.

8. Do you like Walmart or Target?

I’m not a huge fan of either of them, but if I had to choose I’d say Target.

9. Fill in the blank – I can’t live without my …, and why?

I can’t live without my green tea from David’s tea.  I am seriously obsessed!  I couldn’t live without it because I love the taste of their green tea, and I find it so soothing to drink throughout the day!

10. Where is your dream vacation and why?

I’m living in my dream vacation spot: California! But if I had to choose somewhere else, I’d say I want to check out Greece!

11. If you could meet anyone dead or alive who would it be and why?

I’d want to meet Lauren Graham because I loved her in Gilmore Girls.  She seems so funny and down to earth.


Liebster Award Rules: (Paraphrased from Sarah’s post)

Thank the person who gave you the Liebster Award nomination and link their blog to your post.
Answer the 11 questions they asked you.
Nominate 11 bloggers for the award.  The bloggers must have 200 followers or fewer.
Create 11 questions to ask your nominees.
Let your nominees know you nominated them once you’ve posted about your Liebster Award.
Add the Liebster Award badge to your blog!


Nominees for the Liebster Award in no particular order:

1. http://coffeeanddaria.wordpress.com/

2. http://mazharhussain317.wordpress.com

3. http://prettylittledistraction.wordpress.com

4. http://saidthethread.wordpress.com/

5. http://FashionablePolish.com

6. http://fashsperation.wordpress.com

7. http://simpleandcozylifestyle.wordpress.com

8. http://dresscanimpress.wordpress.com

9. http://mannequiin.wordpress.com

10. http://forfashionfreaks.wordpress.com

11. http://welcometowonderland94.wordpress.com


My 11 questions for all of you are:

1. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

2. What is your favorite junk food?

3. Where is your favorite store to shop?

4. How would you describe your clothing style in three words?

5. Are you an early-riser or night owl?

6. If you could invent something, what would it be?

7. What is your current favorite song?

8. If you could be any character in any movie, what character in what movie would you be?

9. Are you a coffee-lover, tea-lover, or neither?

10. What’s your favorite day of the week and why?

11. What hidden talent do you have?

 

 

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Does Shopping Negatively Affect your Health?

I came across a very unusual article on Refinery29.com.  The article states that shopping could cause stress on your body.  What I find even crazier than this notion, is that fact that they actually found a doctor to support this stance.  The department store, Harvey Nichols, teamed up with the elusive “Dr. Rosemary Leonard” with which we get to see none of his credentials, and yet his word is used as support for the notion that shopping can be bad for our health.  You may be asking, how?  When I first saw the title I figured they’d focus on the stress that shopping can cause when someone is searching for something they need on a time constraint.  But no, they’re referring to physical stress.  Apparently, shopping bags are a danger.  If you’re carrying too many they can cause tingling in your hands and restricted blood flow.  I’d have to say that if I’m carrying way to many bags, the happiness in my heart is going to outweigh any tingling or numbness I might feel in my hands.

Apparently, carrying too many bags can make you faint.  I’ve carried many bags before and the only time I’ve felt like fainting was when I walked into the shoe department at Saks Fifth Avenue in New York City during the holiday season…and I wasn’t even carrying any bags at the time.

By the end of the article, we finally learn that Dr. Leonard is a practicing GP.  Okay great, so he’s not a dentist or just a guy who did a lot of school to get a “Dr” before his name.  But then he says that he sees more shopping-related stress injuries when the economy is thriving.  And then I begin to question him again.  People actually go to the doctor for this?

Although it’s probably blatantly obvious, I’m just going to spit it out anyways: Injuries from shopping = “First World Rich Girl” problems.  Although I feel like that doesn’t even quite capture the whole essence of it, but it’ll have to do.

So just think about this the next time your at a store and your debating whether or not to buy that fifth pair of boots.  Do you really want to risk your health by carrying around heavy shoes?  Personally, yes.  I’m okay with that sacrifice.  But apparently some people think it’s a big problem.   Let me know what you think!

Shop Safe!

Love,

J. Molly

 

 

What’s Hot, What’s Not

hot or not cat

The wine that will blow your mind:

Feeling like a red? Go for a smoky Baco Noir, a full-bodied Syrah, or an easy-sipping Merlot.  I’d suggest the Konzelmanm Baco Noir and the Piat d’or Merlot, but I’ve yet to find a Syrah I love this summer.  I’d be grateful for any suggestions, leave a comment below.

konz

The wine that will disappoint:

Shiraz-Cabernet, particularly the one by Jacob’s Creek,  and Rosé Sparkling.

The dress you should be wearing to the bars:

It’s V-neck, it’s swanky and silky, it’s sleeveless, and it’s got that flowy skirt that flies up into a twirl when you spin around on the dance floor.

The dress you shouldn’t wear:

Bodycon dresses.  They’re a bit too “been there done that.”

Shoes to knock your socks off:

They’re the least of your worries this summer.  Every shoe fanatic is entitled to a few summer months of sparkly pink flip-flops during the day.  But at night when your dressing for yourself at the bars, pull out those stilettos with the soft leather that allows you to dance the night away without making your feet bleed.  As much as you want to wear the high heels that have a slippery soul, don’t forget that bars often have alcohol all over the floor, and slipping would be way less than fun.

Shoes to abandon:

I feel like I’m just being redundant saying crocs.  I think everyone already knows that already.  Why people still wear them, is beyond me!  I’ve also yet to try the whole socks and sandals thing, even though I know it’s more commonplace now.  I’d still say, heck, it’s summer, take off your friggin socks and walk along the bar barefoot.

The “in” tunes:

1. Piano Man by Billy Joel

2. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

3. Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

The tunes that make you cover your ears:

1. Happy by Pharrell Williams

2. Shots by LMFAO

Trending Food:

Eating your salad out of the bag (Only appropriate if under the age of 35)

Disgusting Food:

Poutine

What’s hot or not changes fairly frequently.  But I’m pretty sure some of these “Not’s” will always be in the reject pile.

Enjoy!

Love,

J. Molly

 

 

 

 

 

 

Has Your Spring Sprung yet?

I can feel it in the air.  There’s a wonderful smell of Spring that invigorates my senses.

This is the time to build your confidence.  Start wearing that dress you bought on a whim, even though you haven’t adorned it on your body since you were staring at your reflection in the mirror of the store dressing room.

Standing out, being weird, is always half the fun.  Looking ravishing is just a bonus.  This season highlights the most amazing aspects of the female body.  Firstly, we’ve seen the pop of pink every where we turn.  Dark pink, light pink…you can’t go wrong.  We’re seeing inspiration from multiple decades this season.  The swinging 60’s is in full force with the pop of color and the hippie inspired bohemian styles extending from the runway to the stores.

Freedom is a beautiful thing.  Knowing we are free is what allows us to push boundaries.  Here I am living in San Francisco…the center of the technology industry.  As I study fashion, I can’t help but see how fashion and technology are destined to intertwine…in fact, they already have.

My inspiration comes from the fact that I see no limits.  Yes they exist, but fashion is about breaking them.  I want to break every limit there is because I’m riding on this electric roller-coaster here in the beautiful city where there’s sunshine almost everyday.  I swear the fog is just a fable.

Last month I was inspired by the cover of Harper’s Bazaar UK magazine with Rosie Huntington Whiteley on the cover looking bony, beautiful, and blonde surrounded by bright pink.  This month my mind has yet to be captured by the next beautiful image, but no doubt it will happen.  As the Spring season approaches, I can’t help but notice shorts and legs, and beauty that every one has in them…

To me, Spring is all about removing clothes.  Ditching those wool sweaters, saying goodbye to those 80’s inspired legwarmers, and trading them in for that sexy professional pleated dress that brings a whole new meaning to sexy librarian.

I want color.  There should be enough pink to throttle the world.  I want enough sun to make me squint without my glasses.  I want the world to take me by surprise.  I want this Spring to be more.  I want to feel something…rain, the ocean, the sun beating hard against my skin.  I want to live my dreams by making them myself, with my own bare hands.

We’re young, we’re willing, we’re wanting, I want it all.

Here’s to a Spring filled with light, color, and sunshine.  Here’s to throwing out your black and replacing it with your pink.

Love,

J. Molly

Friday on the Coast

So here it is…a sunny Friday in beautiful California. As I sit in my apartment, in my pajamas doing my homework with the blinds closed, I think to myself…”There’s a world out there just waiting to be explored…and here I am doing homework while Gilmore Girls plays in the background for the umpteenth time. And then the fire alarm goes off and I take that as a sign! It forces me to get dressed. But minutes later it was turned off. Now that my clothes are on…I really have no excuse not to go out. So I go for a walk…and I bring my laptop. I don’t know where I’m headed or for how long, but I am on my way somewhere.   My mind is open, my clothes are on, my hair is pinned up with pink Swarovski jewelry… and the world’s my oyster. (I’m not exactly sure what that saying really means…but I’ve heard it used in this kind of situation.

I think about going to the grocery store…but I realize I don’t really need any food. I pass by a magazine shop…and G-d knows I love buying magazines, but I figure I already have too many and it’s hard finding a place for them in my small apartment. So I keep walking…just listening to my music…a little bit of Jesse Labelle, a little bit of Alexisonfire, a little bit of Lorde…nothing earth shattering.

Then I walk by a Marc by Marc Jacobs store. Of course I go in. Nothing jumps out at me. I keep walking.

And then I see a bird sneeze.

I kid you not. It sneezed. I heard it! I didn’t know birds sneezed. But now I’m quite confident that they do.

I pass the sneezing bird…hoping that it finds itself a tissue. And then I see a REALLY fat cat. Just lying on the street. But there was no owner anywhere near it. I wonder if it swallowed its owner? Or if the owner just had to ditch it because he couldn’t afford to feed it anymore.

Then I keep walking…occasionally stopping to look at my cellphone…trying to look like there’s a purpose to my excursion today.

Then I pass a French café. Now, I don’t particularly like French cafes, but there was seating available. So I grab a tea. Green of course.

The barista asks me whether I wanted to stay or to go…I mull over the question. Do I want to walk my tea back to my apartment and drink it alone, or do I want to stay out in public and fiddle around on my laptop.

I decided to stay out.

So here I am writing this blog. Pointing out every single exciting or unexciting moment this very mundane Friday in California has laid upon me.

My excursion was very short-lived…just like my past relationships.

I was headed home in less than an hour.  On my way home I walked by a Mexican restaurant that advertised margarita pitchers.  I made a mental note to come back with friends one day to enjoy a pitcher…

For your sake, and my sake, I hope that not all my days are this dull.  But for now, this is what you get to read.

Drink, Dance, Laugh, and Love.

Because you’re only young once.

J. Molly

It’s All or Nothing, Baby

Love it…want it.

Hate it…ditch it.

After the first time I saw the movie “A Walk to Remember” 7 years ago, I watched it every day after getting home from school for the next year.  My most played song on iTunes has been played 63 times.  And that doesn’t include the times I listened to it on my ipod or the times I cut it off before the song was completely finished.

My stapler is pink, my scissors are pink, my binder is pink, even my pens are pink…and that’s just my school supplies.  I have five shades of pink nail polish.  My dish soap is pink.  My cutting boards are pink.  My toothbrush is pink.

I have pink hair chalk…no, I’ve never used it…but I still have it.  And if you’re wondering what that is, it’s this chalk (like the kind you played hopscotch with as a kid) that you rub on your hair and it dyes it pink…until you shower.  Of course the package warns that it could stain if you get it on your clothes while you’re applying it to your hair…so it’s best to be naked while applying it.  (Well okay, it doesn’t instruct consumers to get naked, but it does warn of the hazards if you don’t!)

My new obsession is hair jewelry.  I discovered these Swarovski crystal covered pins, combs, and clips that hold your hair up and make it sparkle.  It would be like taking your Swarovski jewelry and putting it in your hair.  I just bought a few last weekend.  Guess what color I bought?

…If you said anything other then pink, then I think you should put the bottle down…you’ve killed too many brain cells already.

When I like something, I know it…And I consume myself with it.  There is no “a little pink here…and little green there”…screw that shit.  It’s just pink.

When I was 5 years old I discovered my first pair of shoes that had a platform…I was addicted.  I have four closets and a shoe wheel filed with high heels to prove it.  At age 12 I decided to ditch flat shoes.  Why wear flat shoes when I like high heels better? (This attitude has become a little less extreme since I became a West Coaster…)

I love green tea.  Check out my cupboard…I could open up my own David’s Tea store in my apartment.  They say it’s good for you to drink 3-4 cups of green tea a day.  I drink about 8-10.

I haven’t had a donut from Tim Hortons since I was a little kid.  Except for one time in second year of undergrad when I shared half a dozen donuts with my friend after a night of drinking.

I stepped on the ice for the first time at the age of three.  It was love at first step.  It turned into a 12 year trip to paradise and hell.  I gave up skiing, school, soccer, the chance to meet new friends, and a social life so I could spend hours on the ice everyday at one of the best training centers in the world.

In the past I have sometimes had the tendency to hibernate (Ok, let’s not kid ourselves, I still have this tendency…) but years ago when I was in my third year of undergrad I made a New Years Resolution to be more social and not stay in as much.  The next weekend in January I partied Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night…screwed up an exam two weeks later…and was back to my hermit, “I’m gonna continue studying in my cave” mentality.  Since then I have learned how to do both…that is party, have fun, go out… and study.  It was a little weird at first, but I’ve gotten much better at balancing the two.  Plus, I’m in a graduate fashion program…it’s no rocket science.  Yes, I have a lot of work to do…but nothing is as grueling as U of T.  U of T prepared me for life.  It taught me that if you can graduate from this school, then you can do anything else…while drunk.  I actually think that a glass of wine helps my creative process.

In university I discovered that chewing gum was a great way to keep myself entertained while in a boring lecture or while completing mind-blowingly boring homework…(I was an English and Psych major.)  Several months later when my jaw started hurting, I realized that I was chewing on average about 10 pieces of gum a day.  I had to cut it out cold-turkey.  No gum.  That concept known as moderation is just not my best friend sometimes.  It’s all or nothing baby.  I haven’t had a piece of gum in a very long time.  I feel like I should be asking for a sober chip…2 years gum-less.   Let’s celebrate… with a bottle of wine!

I loved my dog Soda.  In the 11 years that he graced this Earth with his presence, I took about a thousand pictures of him.  He was very photogenic…and very understanding of my extremist ways.  When I walked over to him with my phone in my hand he rolled his eyes…he knew it was photoshoot time.

At an early age I discovered that I loved fashion and celebrity-gossip magazines…Combine that with my tendency to hoard things I love…and you’re left with a bunch of closets, drawers, shelves, and tables filled with magazines.  And the collection just keeps growing internationally.

I love Gilmore Girls.  I’ve seen every episode probably over 500 times.  And that’s not an exaggeration.  The show ended ages ago when I was back in high school and I still obsess over it.

I’ve talked about a lot of things that I love.  But none that I hate.  I’m an extremist in both directions…it’s all or nothing, hate it or love it.

So what do I hate?

Cold weather.  Hence the migration to the warm West Coast.

Non-alcoholic beverages…unless it’s green tea.  Check my cupboards…you’ll find green tea, bottles of wine, vodka, and whiskey.

Crocs.  My closet would be a great billboard for an “anti-croc” campaign.

Even my drawing skills are extreme….in the negative direction.  Any of you who have seen one of my drawings, know that they make a five year old’s drawing of stick people look like the Mona Lisa.  There is no middle ground in my ability to draw.  Just pray you never end up on the same team as me when playing Pictionary.

And the moral of this story is…why half commit?  If you’re in, be all in.  If you like it…break that barrier and learn to love it already.  What are you waiting for?

No, actually that’s not true.  I strive everyday for moderation.  Sure, I guess it’s fun to be extreme in some cases, but sometimes it’s just simply not.

Abstain…Indulge.  There’s nothing in between, yet.

We’ll dance, we’ll drink, we’ll laugh, we’ll love.

Yours Truly,

J. Molly

Music Makes the World Go Around

I’ve been trying to transform my blog into a primarily fashion blog but I just have so much stuff to write about…I don’t want to limit myself.  So this article is about music.  I’ve yet to write a music article so this shall be the first.

I want to start off by naming the songs that I couldn’t live without:

1. “Crash” by You Me at Six – this song reminds me of California and walking the streets staring out at the ocean thinking holy shit…I’ve finally upgraded from the lake and moved onto the real thing…the ocean…in all it’s vastness and all its glory.  When this song gets to its crescendo, I’d always imagine myself running and ripping off all my clothes then jumping into the ocean.  Of course I may need some liquid courage to do this,  especially if it’s during the daylight…And sure, maybe this is not the typical thought that comes to mind when listening to a song, but nonetheless this is what I thought.  Like the lyrics in this song say, “Nothing is in our way…” …that’s exactly how I felt…like nothing was in my way!  You know at the end of a romantic movie when the woman in a classy 50’s style dress runs up to her man and hugs and kisses him as he grabs her and lifts her off the ground and spins her around… then they kiss and share a lifetime of love together…well that’s kind of the dramatic depiction of how I feel when I listen to this song.  (Note: Of course this romantic ending is only truly satisfied if the man who’s arms you’re running into are either Chris Evans, Ryan Gosling, or [insert your hot man crush here].

2.  The song that I’m really addicted to…in fact, if I get really dramatic, I might even say that it changed my life…it opened my eyes to a whole new sound…and a whole new feeling… (You may not think music is capable of this, but I do.  I firmly believe that one song can change your world…can inspire you or make you cry…can lift you up when you’re down in the dumps, or can give you something to look forward to when there’s nothing but a bottle of whiskey waiting for you.)  The song is called “The Lost Boy” by Greg Holden.  If you’re an avid Sons of Anarchy watcher then you’ve probably heard it before, but if not you should definitely give it a listen.  If you don’t like it I’m sorry…I’ll still like you despite your bad taste in music.  No I’m just kidding…I won’t.

3.  “A Drop in the Ocean” by Ron Pope.  My best friend introduced me to this song, and I was very grateful for it because it has remained in my “Best Songs of All Time” playlist.  I’ve probably listened to it more than any other song.  And the remix version is even better than the original!

4.  “The Mess I Made” by Parachute.  I almost saw this band in concert, but last minute they had to cancel and another unknown band took its place.  This song has memories attached to it for me.  So it’s probably partially why this song has remained one of my favorites over the past 4 years.  Even though the memories weren’t the greatest ones, this song nonetheless takes me back to a time I want to remember…to a moment when I longed for something that turned into nothing but a practical joke.  Listen to it.  It may not float your boat or tickle your pickle the same way it gets me raring to go…but let’s just hope it does.

5. “Here Without You” by 3 Doors Down.  This song is the only remaining song that still brings me to that marvelous time of my life that I spent on the ice.  It’s almost as if I can smell the arena as I listen to this song.  That scent of smoke, the Zamboni’s air pollution, hair spray, and dirty floors that inhabits every arena…the smell that inspires me more than anything else…is reinvigorated to my senses every time I listen to this song.  But I’ve noticed that over the years the ability of this song to take me back to the time of my life that I cherish and love and dream about is dramatically and exponentially decreasing…so I’ve tried to limit the amount of times I listen to this song because I don’t want those memories to completely fade.

6.  “Save You” by Matthew Perryman.  This song gives me the chills.  I can almost taste the stars outside my bedroom window on the cold winter nights last year when my mind was racing a mile a minute.

Now I’m going to move my attention towards my current songs of addiction…  No flashy explanations for why I like them just a simple list…a list you should check out.  You’ve probably heard most of them, but if not give ’em a whirl.  You might just discover something new…something that makes your heart skip a beat.  Or not.  Perhaps you have completely different music taste than me.

Here’s just a starter’s guide:

1. “White Trash Beautiful” by Everlast

2. “Why Don’t you get a Job” by The Offspring

3. “Afraid” by The Neighbourhood

4. “Black Me Out” by Against Me!

5. “Family” by Noah Gundersen

6. “Guilty” by Matthew Ryan – I love the husky quality of the singer’s voice!

7. “I’ll Fight” by Daughtry

8. “Old Time Rock n Roll” by Bob Seger

9. “No Better” by Lorde

10. “Under the Water” by The Pretty Reckless

11. “The Whistler” by The White Buffalo – From Sons of Anarchy! This show has an exceptionally extraordinary soundtrack!

12.  “That’s the Way it is” by Celine Dion – I included this for mocking purposes.  You may not admit it, but I bet you that if you listen to this song, you’ll be singing it in the shower tomorrow morning.  Just mark my words.

13.  “The Way you Make me Feel” by Michael Jackson. – If you ever want to get into the dancing mood…play this song.  I guarantee that by the first 30 seconds of this song you’ll be doing the moonwalk…or your own impression of the moonwalk…But nonetheless you’ll be on your feet dancing.  And if you’re not, then you’ve got more willpower than me.

There are so many more songs that I love, but the list would be never-ending.  So here was just a little taste of the music that makes my world go round.

Hope you like it.

Drink, dance, laugh, and love…and may you find the perfect soundtrack to your life.

Love,

J. Molly

The Best Nights are those Spent on the Bedroom Floor Watching the Ceiling Spin

In this world of fast moving shoot ’em up bang bang we’re all fighting for that lifestyle we see on TV and in the magazines.  Even if we won’t admit it.  Or maybe that’s just me…The only worlds I live in are the make believe ones I fantasize about…

There’s no guarantee in anything…and yet we won’t give up.  We can’t give up.  It’s all or nothing.  There’s inspiration around us everywhere but we still have our highs and lows.

If I could make time stand still for just one second, I would freeze it now…in this West Coast dream…With everything at my fingertips I can’t quite hold on for good.  I see everything I want…but have no idea what the future will bring.

I don’t mean to get all philosophical but if I don’t speak my mind at this very moment…I’ll procrastinate and let myself censor what I’m truly thinking.

Someone recently told me that I can do anything if I do it with attitude.  Nothing is weird or shameful if you do it with confidence.  I respect anyone who does what they want when they want…just because they can… Screw conventions…screw right and wrong.

I don’t know why things happen the way that they do…but I’m going to make the best out of every moment.

Only time will tell…

Take technology for example…no one can predict what innovation will spawn from the mind of the next genius…but whatever it is…the world will accept anything that boggles our mind or excites our senses.

For any of you lonely soles out there, there’s a new invention called “The Hug Shirt.”  Basically it is a shirt that sends “squeezes” from the people who love you.  It incorporates sensors that integrate the sender’s heart rate into the shirt.  When I heard about this invention I initially thought…”how cheesy and pathetic.”  But then I thought…”hey…that’s not the worst idea…Everyone could use a hug from time to time…and with a growing willingness and ability to move far away from the people you love, this invention may actually have some merit.”

But my favourite invention is the “Intimacy 2.0 Dress.” This dress, created by Studio Roosegaarde, gets more and more see-through as a person’s heart increases.  Who thinks of this shit?  Seriously? I have to admit I love it, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy.

There are so many talented and weird souls out there.  I just hope to be one of them one day.

Love,

The aspiring, the confused, the hypocrite:

Miss J. Molly

My Life’s Goals…plain and simple.

Although some of my goals may be physically impossible…I like to think positive.  Why not shoot for the stars…jet for the moon…and walk on water…

So here’s what’s important to me…my goals…my wants…or not…

1. Buy a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes for 150 percent off. (Insert laugh here.)

2. Witness a quick minute.

3. Drink with my professor.

4. Have a fast-talking conversation with Lauren Graham.

5. Give Bush a wedgie.

6. Have a verbal conversation with a dog.

7. Gain the ability to speak with a genuine English accent.

8. Eat at a place called “The Crab Shack” in California.

9. Be trapped in an elevator with Chris Evans.  He’s the one and only guy on my elevator list. (If you don’t know what that is…just ask.)

10. Fall in love with a struggling actor barista.

11. Become a samba dancer.

12. Cover the streets with pink glitter.

13. Have an ice rink in my backyard.

14. Get Gilmore Girls to come back for an eighth season.

15. Grow 4 inches taller.

…Don’t judge.

Love,

J. Molly

We’re Always Right…Until We’re Proved Wrong

With all this knowledge why do we attempt to know only what we can’t accept?

Always thinking something that you don’t know or can’t confirm.  Always convincing yourself of it’s truth.  100% positive, until it proves to be wrong.  Confident in your deduction, until you deduce something different.

That feeling that your always right…you have to be right.  …until you find out that you were wrong.

Always filling in the lines that aren’t even there.  Making pictures of fantastical color that can’t be adjusted…  But they’re still there… In that second world of imagination.  That bridge to the other side…wherever that is.

It eats you up inside, but you can’t stop doing it.  Its paranoia.  But to you, its real.

It exists…but not to anyone else.  You can feel it, but you can’t see it.  It’s frozen shut, but hasn’t closed… You remember, you dream, but reality doesn’t exist.  It can’t exist.

You don’t know why you can’t explain it…but the title says it all and nothing at the same time.

Is a role still a role if there are no actors?  Is a game still a game if there are no winners?

Cause I’m playing something alone.  And there’s never a good ending.

But what do I know…

Yours Truly,

J. Molly

Insomnia at its Finest

I have compiled a list of five things that sometimes come to my mind when I can’t sleep at night.  The mind is a mysterious thing… it takes control and we are all its bitches.

With that said, let’s get this rolling with number one:

1. First year university.  I know…it’s random.  It was almost five years ago, but for some reason it seems to be my popular insomnia topic of choice.  From frosh week to the wild summer after first year, that year has stayed with me.  Perhaps it’s because it was my coming out party…or my rebirth…or my introduction into the real world…or just a really fun year.  Or the year that I realized that freedom tastes better than anything else I could ever imagine.  Even though since then that year has been slightly overshadowed by even more exciting stuff such as moving to California, it still resonates with me, and I hope it always will.  The worst thing in life is forgetting or taking advantage of the rare beautiful things that land at your doorstep.

Now on to number 2:

2. Sylvester Stalone.  That sexxxyyy bod, that orgasmic voice…”ADRIANNNNE.” Ok….No.  I’m totally just fucking with you right now.  I don’t spend my precious insomnia hours thinking about Rocky (although I do love those movies!), but I do however spend my time thinking about guys.  This is pretty much a no brainer.  They always keep life interesting…And I’m very appreciative of that.

3. Making a list about all the things I have to do this week.  (Insert nerd joke here.)

4. Shoes, clothing, etc.  Has anyone else ever dreamt about having a computerized closet where you could scroll through all your clothing and accessories, mixing and matching them to make an outfit? Naturally, this computer system would have really hot models in the program, so you could see how your outfit would look on a sexy bod.  This is one of my many dreams.

5. Sleep.  We all want what we can’t have.  It’s a fact of life.

And finally, all I’d like to say is,

DAMN YOU INSOMNIA!

But on the bright side, it does give me lots of time to catch up on all my favourite TV shows…at the moment I’m in a Sons of Anarchy, Shameless, Dragons Den, Shark Tank, The Shield, Law and Order SVU, Criminal Minds, Judge Judy, and Dr. Phil kind of phase… So much good TV…so many hours of insomnia… ’tis the perfect combination!

Love,

Yours Truly

JM

(Note: I have several articles in the works right now, but the time between me starting an article and being satisfied with it enough to post it, is sometimes a long and unruly process.  In the mean time, I have posted this little article…but keep your eyes open for a bunch more, hopefully coming really soon!)

Why Do They Always Fuck Up the Ending?

(Note this article contains spoilers for the show Homeland).

I watched the final episode of Homeland’s third season, and it not only made me cry (in a bad way), but it also made me want to throw up, hurl my body against the door, and repeatedly bang my head against the wall.

What the fuck. Is all I have to say.  This happens so often, where writers come up with the worst, most unsatisfying ending to a season or series.

I don’t know if you’re a Homeland fan or not, but basically the writers decided to freakin kill the main character.  Death by hanging, nonetheless!  He was the center of the show’s love interest, which was literally what made me love the show in the first place…but then they suddenly ripped it to shreds by killing off the lifeblood of the show…the bread of the bread-pudding…the cheese of the pizza, the heart of the…world! Okay, maybe that’s a bit overdramatic, but it’s definitely warranted here.

It would be like one day the writer of Gilmore Girls decided on the third season, hey… you know what, let’s kill off Lorelei Gilmore! Like NO! That just can’t fucken happen! It doesn’t make sense and it would have ruined the show!

The writers for Homeland said that they couldn’t please everyone with the season finale, but my question is…who the fuck did they please?

And not only did they make a horrible decision to kill the main character, but they also did it in a pathetic, unnatural, and unsatisfying way.  His ex-lover of course was there to watch him get hung, and was able to talk to him right before he died, but they didn’t even fuckin profess their love to each other.  Isn’t that like the natural thing to do?  If you know you’re never gonna fucking see someone you love again, you would tell them, “Hey, by the way, I fucking love you!”

(I’m sorry for my repetitive use of the “F-word” but I just need it to help me convey how “fucking” upset this finale made me.)

The entire time I was watching him hang, I kept thinking, okay the rope is going to break, it’s going to BREAK!…Fuck it didn’t break!”

I know that I probably get too invested into the TV shows that I watch…but I just can’t help it.  It seriously messes with my mind when a TV show screws up an ending.  Like in Gilmore Girls, why the hell was there not a double wedding at the end…Lorelei and Luke, and Rory and Logan… It’s what everybody wanted…and it should have been fucking inevitable…and not at all too unrealistic.  In fact, it seemed like a really quite plausible ending.  But no, after dating Logan for practically a million years, Rory all of a sudden decides “Meh, no.  I don’t want to marry you Logan.  I’m gunna go off and be by myself and have a career.” Who the fuck came up with that ending? Seriously!

I don’t know whether its a nervous tension or what… but there must be something that causes good writers to create horrible endings.  Perhaps it’s performance anxiety…they’re so afraid to screw up the ending…that they do something no one’s expecting and it ends up being shit…

You know that saying, “We are our own worst enemies?” Well, it’s very true.  I torture myself by re-watching the main character’s death scene over and over.  Every time I watch it, I keep hoping that the outcome will be different, even though I know deep down that it won’t.   Or maybe the writers will have a change of heart and decide to make an alternate ending.

My plan was to have another Homeland marathon of all three seasons again, just in case I missed some stuff along the way…but now…after that horribly sad ending…I just don’t know if I can put myself through that again.  The whole time I’ll be watching it, I’ll be too preoccupied thinking about the ending.

I almost wish that I had never started watching Homeland in the first place because this episode was just too upsetting.  But now it’s lodged in my brain and I can’t forget it.  And ok, maybe this is what the writers intended my reaction to be, but my question is why?  You have the power to create an amazing happy ending, so why do so many writers choose the most devastating one?  I mean, there doesn’t have to be rainbows, or ponies, or money falling from the sky…but perhaps allowing the main character to live would be a good compromise?

Life has it’s own path for everyone, but TV shows, their path is created by the writers.  And why wouldn’t they want a happy ending?

Don’t people watch TV in the first place to feel happy or satisfied or relaxed or satiated…I mean, if writers just start killing off their main characters in the most horrific way…what makes this show appealing?  His lover was fucking carrying his baby… and he gets hung… he doesn’t profess his love, he doesn’t talk about the baby…he just stares at her…his ex lover who is carrying his baby…I just fucking hate these endings and they make me way too sad.  Fuck this shit.

I’m going to bed.

Love,

J. Molly.

10 Signs to Determine if you are Just a Loner with a Duffel Bag

1. If you turn down dates to stay in by yourself and watch the Mighty Ducks.

2. You pray that your cell phone doesn’t ring once it’s passed 7:00pm.

3. You cross the street when you see someone you know walking towards you.

4. You stay half-naked at home because you know no one will be knocking on your door…and the odd time someone does, you go quiet and pretend you’re not home.

5. Meeting people is an inconvenience in your daily solitary life.

6.  The imaginary friends you’ve created in your mind are enough to keep you company.

7. You migrate to other loners because you know they won’t bug you.

8. After sobering up in the morning, you regret all the plans you made last night when you were drunk to hang out with people.

9.  When you feel like partying you blare Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock n Roll and dance around your room using a hairbrush as your microphone.

10. You own a duffel bag.

Decoding Common English Phrases

Let’s cut the bullshit.  Sometimes people say one thing, and mean something completely different.  That is why I have decided to compile a list of translations for all you lovely people, so that you won’t be confused by what others say.

Ready, set, go…

1. When the opposite sex asks, “do you want to come over and watch a movie? this actually means “lets take our clothes off.”

2. When someone ends a conversation by saying, “Keep in touch” this actually means, “See you in 10 years.”

3. When you ask someone to hang out and they respond, “Can I just check my schedule first and get back to you?” that means “I need more time to think of a good excuse to get out of hanging with you.”

4. When a straight guy at a bar compliments a girl’s outfit, he’s actually asking, “Your place or mine?”

5. When someone asks you “what’s up?” we expect one answer: “not much, how bout you?” Anything else just throws us off.

6. When someone says, “Whatever!” it means “you’re wrong, but I’ll let you think you’re right because I’m too lazy to spend my time convincing you of your inaccuracies.”

7. When someone says to you, “Nice try,” he or she is actually saying, “You suck, you incompetent moron…is there anything you’re not a screw-up at?”

8. When someone says, “Oh, you’re so funny…” that actually means that you’re joke didn’t make us laugh so we’ve resorted to just telling you that you’re funny because we don’t want to hurt your feelings.  Or, it could mean that we just don’t know what else to say and we kind of want to end that particular subject of conversation so we use the generic “oh, you’re so funny,” to bring it to a close.

When I think of more helpful translations I will post them.

I hope this helps.

If you would like help translating any other phrases, let me know in a comment and I’ll see what I can do…but I can’t promise any miracles.

Love,

J. Molly

Trying to break boundaries when there are no boundaries left to break

In one of my upcoming projects, I’m going to have to create an advertising campaign.  I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of a fresh, controversial idea because after all, who really takes a second look at something that isn’t pornographic, offensive, or mockingly hilarious.

But my problem is, so much has been done already!  Being half naked or lying in a provocative position isn’t going to cut it!  Cleavage is a thing of the past… Everyone’s seen each other’s epidermis.

The olden days of Britney Spears grinding on stage half-naked no longer raises eyebrows.  I’d say that a fancy plate of carrots and celery is probably more intriguing to the male sex providing it is served with their favourite selection of extra spicy dip.  I remember watching documentaries on the effects of racy female pop singers on young teenage girls.  But what used to be racy, is now just pathetically juvenile.  Britney Spears’ music video for …Baby One More Time was shunned because she was a young girl exposing her belly and dancing suggestively.  If that music video were to debut now, people would call her a sweet and innocent girl, who is a wonderful role model for young teenage girls…and at the very least they’d appreciate the fact that she’s not naked swinging on a ball.  Miley Cyrus had to resort to wearing a nude suit while twerking with a man twice her age in order to sell her music.

I can honestly say that the only fashion advertisement I can remember is the Dolce & Gabbana one that is extremely offensive with 5 men gathered around a woman while one of them nails her down to the ground, seemingly against her will.  If there’s no truly offensive message, no one really gives a shit.

We’ve all seen naked people.  We know that sex sells…but nowadays we have to make sexy images sexier in order for them to be as effective as they once were.

When I was a kid I wasn’t allowed to listen to the Spice Girls or watch their movies because my mom thought it wasn’t a suitable influence for a young, impressionable girl.  “If you wannabe my lover…” was considered inappropriate and suggestive.  But nowadays, sex talk is not only explicit but extremely vulgar.  Calling someone their “lover” would be considered tame, boring, and simply unoriginal…like doing missionary.

But have no fear because since the days of the Spice Girls we have had many devoted young female celebrities who are willing to do whatever it takes to be in the limelight and stay there.  Take Kim Kardashian for example…she embarrasses herself on TV everyday in order to make her millions.

I guess for my advertising campaign I’m going to have to think outside of the box…try to create something flashy in an artistic and shocking way…How the hell I’m going to do this…well…that’s a good freaking question…and yet to be determined.

Wish me luck.

Love,

J. Molly

First step, ride the bus, second step…rule the world!

Since coming to California I’ve been forced to experience the real world like a real cultured person.  (Candy-coated with a cherry on top and low-cal frosting, but nonetheless still a real person.) Someone who has to take the bus! To anyone out there who has grown up taking the bus, or subway, I realize that I may come off as being spoiled or sheltered…mainly because…well…maybe I am.  But it’s also partly due to my small town roots.  No one takes the bus in a small town, and therefore I was simply just unaccustomed to it.

But now that I’m off in Cali and my car is in Canada, I’m stuck taking the bus.

You know you are in need of some more excitement when the only interesting thing you have to tell your friend is a creepy/embarrassing riding the bus story.  And let me just preface by saying that pretty much everyday I manage to acquire a memorable bus moment…and not in a good way! I think it’s to make up for all of the years I didn’t have to take the bus or subway.

As hard as I try not to make a fool of myself, taking the bus seems to be more powerful than my will to keep myself calm, composed, and lady-like.

The following is a detailed list of my bus mishaps and terrifying moments as told by a previously sheltered mama’s girl.

1. Take a moment to picture this.  There’s a woman. (me) Wearing heels (duhh), in a skirt…fairly long because the construction workers in California creep me out… And I’m carrying a knapsack.  A big fucking mother-load of a knapsack, filled with lots of heavy textbooks.  Now I’m running.  Yes, RUNNING. To the bus.  I see it a block away and if I miss it, I’ll have to wait for G-d knows how long to catch the next one… Okay, so maybe it would only be around ten minutes but still…I’ve got places to go and people to see and my patience is about as small as Eminem’s penis.  Sweating underneath California’s hot sun (Thank G-d!), tripping on the uneven sidewalk, running with a big bulky knapsack that is smacking my butt every time I take a step because I’ve been too lazy to tighten the straps so that it sits higher on my back.  So here I am running, butt grinding with my knapsack, skirt flipping in all directions, boobs probably also dancing around cause I don’t have a sports bra on… And there is everyone probably watching, probably laughing, staring, and pointing…but I don’t notice because I’m dead set on catching this bus.  So there I am, merely steps away from the bus that will determine my fate…my fate of what time I’ll get home at…  Truly important, life altering stuff here…or not.

Anyways, I’m now beside the bus.  I scurry up to the front door, and it closes.  Yes, It FUCKING closes.  but THEN! MIRACULOUSLY.  The bus driver has a heart.  He sees me there, staring in through the translucent glass with a tired, sweaty, anxious look on my face, and with butt bruises to prove it.  And with true grace, he opens the doors for me.  I know it was probably inappropriate for me to kiss the bus driver, but I just couldn’t help it…I felt so much love for him at that moment.  No, I’m totally just fucking with you.  I didn’t kiss the bus driver…but I wanted too!  What a beautiful, beautiful man!  Although maybe it was a woman?…I don’t know…I was so focused on getting to the bus.

2. My next embarrassing bus moment takes place on a crowded bus.  On my way to class in the morning, I often get onto a completely packed bus, where I end up having to stand in the stairwell by the back doors because there is no room to actually move onto the main level.  So here I was on a regular early morning bus, completely aware of my usual drill of getting in and out of the bus stairwell in order to let people off at their stops, when one day I got caught in a embarrassing situation.  The bus doors opened for people to get off; I went to step off the bus in order to let them out, but my purse and part of my skirt were stuck in between the wall and the doors.  So I was literally caught in the doorway, and people couldn’t get passed me on my side of the stairwell.  Everyone had to exit the bus on the other side of the railing because I was blocking the one side.  A guy on the bus tried to yank my purse loose, but it was completely stuck.  So I had to wait for the bus driver to close the doors in order for me to move.  I was literally, “CAUGHT” in an embarrassing bus situation.  I apologized to the people who had to squish through to the other side of the exit because I was blocking the one side.  Embarrassing? hell yeah!

3. My third embarrassing bus moment involves a moving bus.  (When I said that I had a lot of embarrassing bus moments, I literally meant it.)  So here I was on a moving bus.  It was coming up to my stop so I thought I would get up from my seat so that when the doors would open to let me off I’d be ready to get off, and therefore the bus wouldn’t have to waste any time waiting for me.  (A lot of people do this.)  But I was doing this with a knapsack on my back, high heels on my feet, and while the bus was going up an incline hill.  I bet you can probably guess what I’m going to say next.

I went flying!! The bus jerked and I jetted forward then whipped back into my seat, kinda bumping the woman sitting beside me.  Once again, I apologized, waited for the bus to completely stop, then quickly scurried off the bus cause everyone saw me go flying and it was really embarrassing.  But of course, because I was trying to get off the bus so fast and we we’re stopped on an incline hill I continued stumbling all over the place as I was stepping down the stairs and onto the sidewalk.  I’m pretty sure everyone on the bus probably thought I was drunk.  And it was noon. Oh boy.  I swear I was completely sober.  Apparently, I just enjoy making a fool of myself on the bus.  However, I at least learned from this embarrassing situation, and I now wait until the bus is completely stopped to get up.  Screw it if people have to wait an extra second for me to walk to the door and get off.

3.  Now we’re getting into the more freaky bus moments.  Maybe sometimes I overstress about sketchy things that happen on the bus, but I honestly can’t help it.  I feel so trapped on the bus, like I’m at the mercy of all the other passengers.  What if a fight breaks out? Once, these two guys started arguing about something stupid like who deserved to sit and who should stand.  They we’re really going at it! I was sitting right by them and praying so hard that they wouldn’t cause a bigger commotion!

4. I was sitting in front of a couple of drug dealers one day.  They started talking about dealing cocaine, then they started talking about crystal meth, then they moved on to an anecdote about a time when their urge to kill was rising.  (Again, I was just praying to get off the bus safely!)

5. I hear the darnedest phone conversations on the bus.  This one guy was talking to his friend telling his buddy that he already warned him the girl he apparently had sex with was a whore.  He was like, “Man, I told you! And you didn’t listen!”  All I know, is that this girl was quite the promiscuous lady…just tickling the pickles of everyone she could.

6. There was an almost theft that happened one time when I was on the bus.  It was really crowded and a bunch of people were standing.  I guess this guy started grabbing for a guy’s wallet, but luckily the guy was with a woman on the bus who was sitting far enough away from him to see that a guy was reaching for his wallet.  So the woman started yelling to her husband/friend/relative or whoever, to watch his wallet!  The entire bus could hear!  And the thief started denying that he was going for this guy’s wallet.  But it was pretty clear that he was, considering the urgency in the woman’s voice as she was warning this guy to watch his wallet in the middle of the act!

The first thing that people warned me about when I came to San Francisco was that pick pockets are one of the most popular crimes!  Apparently at bars, people will grab cell phone’s from women’s purses even when they are holding onto their purse or when their purse is sitting beside them on the chair.  I was warned to always wear a purse that has a zipper when I go out to bars.

7.  A couple weeks ago I was walking home from the art supply store in the middle of the day, when out of nowhere a middle-aged guy walking with a long rigid black baton or metal bar of some sort swung it at my head!  It scared the hell out of me!  I jumped away from it and luckily he was far enough away that it didn’t hit me, but he definitely swung it at head level!  He seemed to get off on the fact that it scared me.  He screamed, “Yeah…BAM!” I sped up my walking, and kept checking my back to make sure he didn’t follow me.  Luckily he kept walking in his direction, and I kept walking in mine.

But anyways, the reason I bring this story up, is because it leads me to my next bus story.  The very next day a different guy, who was also carrying a big black baton, got on the bus and sat uncomfortably close to me.  And to make matters worse he was singing pretty loudly, which made me suspect that maybe he wasn’t well.  After my experience the previous day, I decided not to risk staying on the bus until my stop, so I just got off the bus right where we were at that point.  Man, I had a LONG walk home that day, filled with lots of steep hills.

I hope you enjoyed my rant about my bus adventures.  And the moral of the story is…

I miss my car!

Love,

J. Molly.

Let it Be Extraterrestrial

Has anyone ever realized that music sounds way better after consuming several alcoholic beverages?  The music enhancing effects of wine is exceptional.  It should be advertised on their bottles as a selling feature.  Even bad music sounds good.  And good music sounds sensational.  Acoustic riffs automatically make me strum my imaginary guitar strings like a pro. My voice suddenly sounds good.

Dancing becomes more pronounced, more fun, more thrilling, and less embarrassing.

Work seems less stressful, the dark appears brighter, exhaustion fades away.  Homework is more fun, more vivid, and more exhilarating.

The endlist list of things to do, somehow seems like a fun little challenge.

Like life in overdrive, fruit is sweeter, music is clearer, time jets by seamlessly.

The week turns into a collection of days in between the ones that I know I’ll be celebrating with sauce.

Just a regular Sunday night in magical California.

Love,

A devoted advocate and doting fan.

JM

It’s Official. I’m a Sell Out.

It’s official.  I’m a sell out.  I moved to California and sold my soul here.  I am now nothing more than a cliché…a punch line that everybody knows…a stereotype that slaps us in the face…A…Okay you catch my drift. I hope.

You may ask what the heck am I referring to?  Well unfortunately I’m not going to answer that question for you.  At least not today.  It’ll have to remain a mystery…partly because I, myself, am a little hazy on the answer.

But I can tell you that I live by a set of completely arbitrary rules created by me.  I have so far, since being here, broken four of them.  Two of which I thought there would be no way in hell I would ever break.

I guess that just means that life is full of surprises.  Or that pigs really do fly.  Or that you can’t trust yourself.  Or that pure naivety is just simply blinding and stupid and short-lived.  Everyday I learn more and more about the bubble I’ve been living in my whole life.  Actually, I don’t know if I’d call it a bubble, because you can kinda see out of a bubble.  I’d call it more a brick prison cell.  Because when you’re in one of those, you’re pretty much just screwed.  The outside world is nothing but an image you jack off to in your dreams.

Along with ditching my craziest high heels since moving out to California, I have now also ditched several of my morals.  (Note: I have not ditched high heels completely…I still wear them practically everyday…I have simply given my craziest, unsafe high heels a little bit of a cooling off period…a little down time, if you will.)  And I’m alright with that for now. I think.  Either that or I’ve been sucked into a vacuum of emptiness and confusion and have manipulated myself into believing that I’m okay with that.  Guess I’ll find out eventually.

I am as they say on the West coast, just riding the waves…working hard while I chill, relax, and party in between.

Time for round two in this fucked up game of twister.  The score’s 4-0.  I’m of course at 0 and my archenemy appears to be at 4.  But that’s ok, cause I’m feeling hopeful.

I got my self-deprecating personality in one hand and my whiskey in the other… There’s no turning back now.

Here’s to being seasoned and determined, and utterly ambivalent.

Let’s drink, dance, laugh, and love.

Cause it’s all we know.

Love,

J. Molly

Censorship

I have now officially written five different drafts of blog pages, all of which I have decided not to post.  This is a true case of censoring…I’m censoring myself.

I’ve run out of articles that I actually don’t mind if other people read.

So if you’re wondering why I haven’t been posting much lately, it doesn’t mean that I haven’t been writing stuff, cause I have.  I unfortunately just don’t want to post any of it.

But everyday I will keep my mind open and be hopeful that I will spark an idea that doesn’t need censoring.

Or

I will just stop caring, and I’ll post everything.

But until then,

Keep checking back.

My writer’s block can’t last forever right?

Love,

J. Molly

“We’re happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way”

It’s my birthday today.

The big 22.  I’ve officially listened to Taylor Swift’s song, “22” more than anyone should.

My favorite thing about my birthday is that it’s the one day in a year when I can do whatever I want and feel totally confident about it because it’s my birthday and no one is allowed to judge me.

So the first liberty I’m going to take, is this article.  I’m going to talk about anything that I want… just because I can.

Topic # 1

Sons of Anarchy: The new show that I’m addicted to.  If you haven’t watched it.  You should.  It’s spectacular.  I’ll admit that I do cover my eyes at some points because it can get pretty gruesome, but overall it’s just a truly miraculous piece of work.  It combines shoot em up bang bang with sex and drugs and porn and violence and love and emotions and betrayal and violence and brotherhood and violence and … well the rest you’ll have to find out by just watching it yourself.  And the lead character of the show is going to be playing Christian Grey in the 50 Shades of Grey movie so worse comes to worse if you don’t like the show, you can always get lost in the imagination of watching Christian Grey in real live action.

Topic # 2

Breaking Bad: You brought me so much pleasure once a week.  And then you ended.  With that finale that left me so unsatisfied…is it just me or did anyone want Walter Jr. to kill Mr. White?  Or at the very least…at least see Walter Jr. eating breakfast one more time!

Topic # 3

I’ve seen 2 doppelgangers today: The first one was for Robin Anton, the creator of the Pussycat Dolls.  The second doppelganger was Drew Barrymore.  I swear it isn’t the alcohol talking.

Topic # 4

My friends: I’m so lucky that I have you! I love you all.  You brighten my days.

Topic # 5

I’ve run out of topics.

Sincerely,

The Birthday Girl.

WTF

Have you ever done something that shocked the hell out of yourself?

Have you ever started liking something you’ve been mortal enemies with for about a decade?

I find myself going against some of my most firm beliefs.  I fall in and out of my own thoughts… I contradict myself ten times before breakfast.  I chew on regret for lunch.  I’m swallowing my absolution by dinner.

I did something that I can’t explain.  There is no reason for it.  I simply went against everything I believe in.

I find myself sitting in this alternate universe wondering what the hell is happening.  Has my soul been taken over by a foreign species?  Am I being held hostage by my alter ego?

You may be wondering, what the hell…or as the title of this article states, wtf…is the whole point of this article?

Well.  I did something that I’m confused about.  I don’t know how I should feel.

I…

I…

Come on… I can do it…  Just swallow my pride and admit it…

I…

One more time…

I…

Bought a pair of flat shoes.

THERE! I said it!

And the worst part is…

I think I like it.

Confused,

J. Molly

You Know You’re in Cali When…

I saw a pair of car-lashes today.  You may ask, what the hell is that? Well, they are long, black eyelashes that go on the front lights of a car…hence…”car-lashes.”  Not that long ago a woman went on Dragons Den and proposed this crazy idea.  Although it may seem crazy now, if someone had told a person back in the 1950’s that there would be Facebook and YouTube and fucking smartphones…they would have thought that person was crazy too. Now that doesn’t mean that I’m trying to draw similarities between smartphones and car-lashes, cause well car-lashes are obviously way more high tech… just kidding.  But don’t ‘t be too quick to judge.  Before you know it, car-lashes will be on every single car.  (Just in case you don’t catch my sarcasm…I. AM. BEING. SARCASTIC.

I do realize that car-lashes appeal to a very small market.  And apparently, this market is California.  ONLY in California would people actually buy into this absurd (but I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way) invention.  Heck, this is the place where carpoolers put pink mustaches on their bumpers to identify themselves as the ride-sharing Lyft service.  This is the place where cafes charge $5.00 for a cup of tea…true story.

What’s next?!

A hair salon that serves champagne? Check!

Yoga and Zumba in practically every establishment? Check!  G-d forbid someone would have to walk more than a block to get to the nearest exercise facility!

Apartments that have more than one walk-in closet, which put together would be bigger than the rest of the apartment itself?  Check!

Blondes? Check. They represent like 95% of the female population.

Warm weather? Check!

Dogs? Check! I’m pretty sure there’s more dogs than people.  I saw a dog the other day taking his owner out for a walk.  It got a little awkward when he was peeing on the tree.  But what can you do when you’re on a short leash?

And last but not least, an ocean…or bay?  Check!

I fucking love this place.

So get on a jet, a plane, a flying car, a fucking rocket…I don’t really care…just come and party with me in the state where blondes unite.

Sincerely,

The Unknown.

(On account of not wanting to lose any cool points, I’m gunna keep this article anonymous.)

Hello, My Name is J. Molly and I am an Addict

Although I have many addictions, I will start with this short list.  While some of my addictions are constantly changing, others have remained the same for quite some time.

I use the term “addictions” pretty lightly.  To me it refers to anything that I enjoy doing/having on a regular basis.  I may not actually do/have that something all the time, but man, I sure wish I could.  The following list is not in any particular order.

Firstly, (and probably most obviously), I’m addicted to shoes.  High heels to be specific.  The addiction began when I was only 11 years old, and escalated out of control by the time I was 13.  Personally, I feel like this particular addiction is genetic.  After all, the love I have for shoes is one of the only things that has stayed constant since I was that young.  And I was way too sheltered as a kid to have picked this obsession up from the street.  I wouldn’t be surprised if my parents one day tell me that I popped out of the womb with 6-inch stiletto heels on my baby feet.  But this suspicion has not yet been confirmed.

2. California.  Finally I am beginning to fulfill this craving.  Every palm tree I see makes my heart skip a beat.  When I’m standing on a hill looking out onto the water, it’s like an earthquake shakes the ground beneath my feet.  When I walk past a hair salon that advertises serving champagne on Fridays when you get your hair cut, I’m reminded that I’m finally here.  Welcome to San Francisco bitch.

3.  The O.C., Gilmore Girls, Southland, Suits, Dragons Den, and Shark Tank.  While there are many TV shows that I love and watch religiously, I’m mentioning these four for now.  The O.C. will forever be a classic.  It has quenched my desire for California in those desperate years of mine when I was living in Canada.  It reminded me that West Coast living is different from the East.  Gilmore Girls will never make me stop laughing. Lorelei Gilmore, although a fictional character, will forever be a role model for the type of relationships I want to have with the people I know and love.  Southland makes me thankful for every moment that I have not witnessed some of the horrible shit that goes on in the dangerous areas of Los Angeles, and it also makes me laugh at very inappropriate times.  Suits…it’s just…so…freaking good! The drama is never ending, and all though I may not understand all the technical jargon that goes down…I can appreciate the amazing dynamics between the characters and I can admire the hard work that goes into corporate law.  The storylines are vivid and captivating…it would be an understatement to say that I am completely and utterly hooked.  Dragons Den and Shark Tank…the two shows that have made me ponder a career as a businesswoman.  I’ve watched every episode about a dozen times…at least.  Not to mention, I have met Robert Herjavec.  That was only one of the most nerve-racking and exhilarating moments of my life.

4.  Figure Skating.  It was a reality of mine for twelve beautiful years.  But this reality came to a halting end.  And now it remains a dream. Nothing more than an image that I crave.  Like Chris Evans.  Beautiful, but beyond my reach.

5. Alcohol.  I had to mention it.  It’s one of G-d’s best creations.  It lets you escape into this alternate universe for a night, where everything seems exciting, happy, and within reach.  It’s like for one night you can just tell your fears/problems/complications/all of the above, to go fuck themselves…I’m just gonna drink and be merry.  What could be better?  In an addictions psychology class I took last year I learned that some people are born with the g-allele.  People with this allele get a more intense and satisfying reaction to alcohol.  I definitely have this allele.

6. Inspiration.  You may ask, how can someone be addicted to inspiration?  Well folks, it’s possible…I’m living proof.  I spend my time trying to find activities/people/landscapes/alcohol/anything else that will inspire me to be everything that I want to be.  Inspiration is one of those funny things that can strike at any time.. It’s unpredictable because you’ll never know when it’ll hit.  But you love it when it’s present.  I strive for inspiration… I’ll do anything to get it.

7. Fashion.  There’s something so invigorating about something that changes constantly and that varies according to each individual.  I love standing out.  I like to make a statement.  And when I choose to dress unfashionably, I’m also making a statement.  Fashion is about making choices.  It is the one thing where people can’t tell me what to do.   I’ll wear what I like, I’ll dress how I please, and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it.  I like having that power.  I like expressing myself according to my mood. I like walking down the halls/streets wondering if people are laughing at the shoes I am wearing or the outfit I have put together.  Secretly, I hope that they are.  I don’t want to blend in.  Blending in is boring.  And I have no patience for boredom.

Until next time,

Drink, dance, laugh, and love.

J. Molly

How to Know if You’re an Asshole – and if so, What Kind of Asshole are you?

(Warning: this article uses the term “asshole” several times.  If you find this offensive, stop reading now.)

I saw a book called “Ass-holes” at the bookstore yesterday. It offered a philosophical examination of different kinds of assholes, grouping them into different categories according to their specific characteristics.  Although I was kinda tempted to get it I didn’t, but it did however stimulate my curiosity.  I know that there is a tendency for people to typecast but is there actually such a thing as different kinds of assholes? If you’re an asshole, you’re an asshole. Plain and simple.  But no, apparently not all assholes are the same.  Even as I’m writing this now, I’m somewhat regretting my decision to not buy the book because after all, who wouldn’t want to be equipped with the skills to be able to identify a certain asshole from a different class of assholes.  It’s a pretty practical skill to have.  (Just in case you haven’t caught my sarcasm, I’m being sarcastic right now…) If there is one thing I\ve learned from my English University courses it is to always be SPECIFIC! (Note: Personally I think it’s inappropriate to refer to people as assholes.  Every person should be regarded highly… unless they do something extra-ordinarily terrible…and worthy of the term “asshole” as determined by any “reasonable” person.)

I think that some people just have too much time on their hands.  I mean, who says to themselves, “Hey, I’m gonna sit down and write a book about assholes, providing a sophisticated theory?”  Why don’t you try writing something that matters or something that is useful in some way? Now okay, perhaps I am equally lame because I am writing a review of a book about assholes but you know what, I’ll admit that this blog is not and will probably never be scintillating in any shape or form.  It’s purely superficial and completely random, and that’s the way I want it to be.

Moving on…

I have three criteria that I use to help me choose a book to read.  As long as the book meets one of these criteria, there’s a good chance I’ll want to read it.

1. I love trash.  Always have and always will.  And by this I’m referring to those books that are pretty much just a soap opera.  No substance, no depth, and certainly not requiring any sophisticated thought process.  Just a purely guilty pleasure.  Which books fall under this category may you ask? 50 Shades of Grey.  And yes I have read it.  Did I like it? I’ll never tell.

2. Books that will make me feel smarter in a practical everyday sense.  Books that will give me knowledge that I can use in conversations to impress people. I enjoy business books.  They make me feel so corporate…so badass even.  Just kidding…sort of.  But I do hope to one day be business savvy like the authors of the business books that I read.

3. Classics.  Although 75% of the time I find them boring, it’s nice to be able to say I’ve read them.  However, thanks to the University of Toronto English department I have been thoroughly cured of any interest I use to have in classics. I have this feeling that some amazing classics only became popular because people wanted to brag about how well read and scholastic they were.  No one actually enjoys Jane Austen.  I mean come on, she’s boring as hell.  (I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but I’m just trying to be honest, and I think you should be too.)  It’s like people who say they enjoy studying.  C’mon, no one actually enjoys studying.  People do it so they can do well in school in order to eventually get the job that they want, but it’s not a fun activity by any means and I can’t see how anyone could actually enjoy it.

So there you have it.  My rant about books…all provoked by my discovery of the book of assholes by Aaron James.

Until next time,

Dance, drink, laugh, and love.

You know I will.

Love,

J. Molly

The Reason Behind all of this Shenanigans

I started this blog because I enjoy ranting about fashion, life, and anything else that either captures my interest or boggles my mind.  Although it’s a bit presumptuous to think that people will actually be reading this I like to stay optimistic so I’ll assume that at least one person will – “hi grandma!”). Up until this point, I’ve kept my writing private; simply writing in my journals alone in my bedroom with the door closed, pajamas on, and depressing music playing…on a Saturday night.  Now I know what you all may be thinking, Jaclyn needs to get a life! One that involves interactions outside of a notebook… and although I like to think that the serious one on one time I clock with my dog Soda is considered an interaction, in the back of my mind I know that greater interactions and life experiences happen outside of my bedroom and with living organisms that can actually talk back. (Note: This was written before Soda died.  I decided to keep it in even though it no longer applies. I love you Soda and I’ll be thinking about you always as I write this blog.)

Sometimes I think writing in my journal seems a bit useless because no one will ever get to read or hear what I have to say.  Although I could simply have a face-to-face conversation with people, that would involve too many social interactions and too much actual contact with real live human beings.  Also, I don’t necessarily want people to know what runs through my screwed up, over-paranoid, up-and-down like a rollercoaster, contradictory brain of mine.  So now you may be thinking to yourself, “Then why the hell would you post it on your blog?”  Well folks, life is nothing but a fucked up mind game; it’s you against yourself and there are no winners.

Posting shit on my blog allows me to fool myself into believing that no one will actually read it because who the hell cares what I think or say, while at the same time I can also convince myself that the time I spend writing is worthwhile and not simply a waste of time.  Perhaps when pigs fly people will actually read my blog and hopefully get a moment of satisfaction out of it, or at least enjoy laughing and mocking me endlessly as I pour my heart out to the world… a.k.a. my grandma; my one and probably only devoted reader! And yes, I realize that my writing may not follow the proper grammar rules but after four years of being an English major I am sick and tired of adhering to a specific set of rules when it comes to writing.  Sometimes I want to purposely use bad grammar in order to get my point across.  This is MY blog and I’m going to ignore whatever grammar laws I choose and there is nothing that anyone can do about it.  Stop reading here if you dislike it.

So there you have it, my reason for starting this blog.  If you find it insufficient, well I really don’t care, your blog probably sucks too.  And if you ever find my blog offensive, well then I’d call that a success!  If you find it confusing and incoherent… well welcome to the mind of me.  And if you find my reason for starting this blog actually quite plausible, well then stay tuned because I will be posting new articles on a regular (hopefully weekly/daily) basis!

Dance, drink, laugh, and love.

This is the start of a new beginning.

Love,

J. Molly

A Little Bit About Me

I would trade my soul for the perfect pair of high heels.

I have not yet mastered the art of moderation: I either love it or hate it, am all in or all out, am addicted to it or want nothing to do with it, I either indulge or abstain.

I have been collecting fashion and celebrity gossip magazines since I was little.  I have a weird notion that years from now it might be cool to look back at the fashion trends and celebrity gossip of the past.

Lorelei Gilmore is my role model.

I live vicariously through characters on television shows.

I have no interest in things that are popular.

I always say I’m okay, even when I’m not.

I try to be a good person and do the right thing, but I’m not as sensitive as I used to be when I was a kid.

My confidence lies in the fact that I’m confident about all the ways I suck.

My bra and underwear rarely ever match.

I’ve come to learn that what you do in life doesn’t matter as much as who you do it with (that was not meant to be dirty, but you can take it however you like.)

There will never be a day that I don’t miss figure skating.

I dance in my room in front of my mirror on a regular basis.

My dog Soda was my best friend.  I miss him and think about him all the time.