Outfits Too Sexy to Wear if President Trump is in your Vicinity

Ladies and Gentlemen, the people have chosen our President and now we have to endure the consequences.  I spent this morning listening to President Trump’s infamous video where he brags about being able to do anything, including sexually assaulting women, because he is a star.  And then I thought to myself, this is who the majority of America has elected, so now we must deal.

If you don’t want his lips being drawn to you like a magnet, (like he boasts in the video), here are some basic dress attributes to avoid.

  1. Say goodbye to cleavage.  Way too sexy.

2. Any leg slit in the dress is provocative as well so stay away!

 

Blue & Cream ($355)

Blue & Cream ($355)

3. V-necks are way too alluring.

4. Dresses with cutouts show too much skin.

Revolve ($188)

Revolve ($188)

5. Anything dominatrix style is out too.  Sends the wrong message.

6. Skirt lengths above the knee are unacceptable.

7. Bodycon dresses that hug your curves are way too sexy.

Bebe ($109.99)

Bebe ($109.99)

8. Off-the shoulder dress, although super trendy this season, just say no.

Shopbop

Shopbop

Taking all of these dress limitations into consideration, here is what your wardrobe should look like now:

screen-shot-2016-11-09-at-12-33-46-pm

This one is fine too:

Nordstrom Rack

Nordstrom Rack

Alright Trump, let’s do this, women are prepared!

Love,
Molly

(Just in case you didn’t catch the subtle sarcasm in this post, this post was meant to inspire a chuckle.  DON’T CHANGE WHAT YOU WEAR FOR ANYBODY!)

 

 

5 Wardrobe Pieces Not Made for Short People

Screen Shot 2016-01-12 at 6.52.11 PM

 

As someone who is vertically challenged, I know my fashion limitations.  “Short people problems” extend beyond not being able to reach something on the top shelf.  Here are five common fashion items that a tall person can pull off better than a short person.

Long Coats:  I once bought a long black leather jacket.  It seemed like a great investment at the time, until I later realized that every time I wore it I looked like I was being swallowed up by a coat!

Maxi Dress: If you’re short and going to buy maxi dresses, just make sure you have your seamstress on speed dial because there are most likely no high heels high enough to make the dress not drag on the ground when you walk!

Romper/Jumpsuit: The full pant jumpsuits are worse than the short rompers because short people have to deal with a waist that bunches due to excess material as well as the pants part of it that drags on the floor.

Thigh High Boots:  This one make me a little sad.  Thigh high boots may not look as good on a short person because they swallow up too much of our legs, but there are some things that I can’t give up!  This is one of them!

Wild Patterns: I’ve never been a huge fan of crazy patterns, but the odd time I’ll find a patterned dress that stands out!  Unfortunately, patterns can make a short person seem even shorter.  It’s best to stick to solid colors as a rule, but again, there’s exceptions to this rule of thumb!

Love,

J. Molly